That sucks

Ok, I know everyone has their story about the patient with the torch stuck up his arse or whatever, but I actually saw what I am about to describe.

I was on surgical take, and the Surgical Reg took me to one side to tell me about the next patient. It turned out the guy had given himself a paraphimosis (foreskin stuck retracted back) while pleasuring himself with a vacuum cleaner. So we go in to see the patient, and the first thing the Reg asks is "How did this happen?"
"Well, you see Doctor, I was doing some vacuuming in my boxers and it got in the way..."
"You're a very unlucky man!" Completely straight face. The SHO creases with laughter. I manage to stay composed.
The Reg puts on some gloves, applies some KY jelly, and says "Right, now I need to give it a slight tug"
"Wait, Doctor, will it hurt?"
"A little"
He yanks it. The scream echoes round the entire A&E.